confession time

as much as i may say i love learning–and in some ways i do–i, in practical ways, reflect the choices of a non-learner.

i can talk as much as i want about an objective appreciation for process, making mistakes on the path to skill-development; i can talk as much as i want about how i think personality and intelligence are not determined, that they can be substantially changed and grown, that a person generally has unpredictable potential.

but applied to my own life?
how i practically respond to opportunities to openly fail at things in order to grow?
my actual thoughts about myself?

i’m either a prodigy or a failure.
i’m either skilled or unskilled.
difficulty and mistakes are a sign that i’m an imposter.

this is self-permitted imprisonment.

like it or not, i have a predisposition towards the fixed mindset.

i want that to change.

i don’t want to look back on my life and boast in my undiscovered potential, boast in what could have been.  terrible!
Holy Spirit, help me follow through on that desire; let the new creation be effected!
may growth be chosen and established in my *actual* decisions and my *actual* life–not just in my head.  let me take actual action, actual responsibility; let me practice actual humility.

YES and amen.